hell yes lets make some ravioli
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
