They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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