NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
