So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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