So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Two words: nipple clamps
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