what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
