and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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