I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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