I bet he comes in French.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
