He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Randomize
