If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
