Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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