It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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