the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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