p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
