I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize