My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
