so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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