i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Randomize
