So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
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