only if we run a train.
done.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
