Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
