a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You ever have a fart follow you around?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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