super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
