wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
