its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
