I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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