She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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