Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
