I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
