I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
There r osticjed everywhere
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
