you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
