i jhust puked up my retainher.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
