I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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