Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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