and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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