This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
