Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
