And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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