I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
