I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
