her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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