You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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