Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
