she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
