it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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