Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
