just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
