If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
