Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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