I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
