I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
