At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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