we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
