i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
