you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
