She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize