i jhust puked up my retainher.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
