he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
