I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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