And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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