my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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